Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

*sigh*
I'm sorry, my dear friend.
You shoulda called, I couldn't sleep until 5 a.m. for no good reason. Understand why you didn't, though.

I know the feeling won't go away, but you're not alone, allright?
» elessar257 on 2007-01-15 11:34:47

The tragedy of human existence is that we want what we want indiscriminately. That need we feel has instinctual roots, but there is nothing instinctive about it at all. If we were smarter, tougher, stronger, we would run away. We would cut ourselves loose from the feelings we feel. But we can't. The same faculties that allow us rational thought are the same ones that trap us in an infinite loop of seeming irrationality, searching for the logic of it all when really there is no rhyme, no reason, no rhythm--just blues.

I know how that is: wanting someone to be happy. But you're right to want happiness for yourself--we all do. It's a basic human need and it shouldn't be considered foolish or selfish--it's a psychological prerequisite for survival. And what's why it hurts so much when we're sad. But I believe that we define the limits of our happiness based on our own measures. And those standards change over time.

The Mayans have a greeting--"Bix a bel?"--literally meaning "How is your road?" The traditional reply is Hach toh in uol--"My road is straight"--but we know that that is wishful thinking. No matter how curvy your road is, no matter how many mountains stand in your way, no matter how many vast oceans you have to cross, no matter how many barren wastelands you find yourself wandering through--it's your own road. A road only you can walk down, on your own time. And you need to keep traveling on it. Who knows what lies at the end, but along the way you'll find things that make you happy--some ephemeral, and some everlasting.

Whenever you're ready, I'm sure our paths will cross at an intersection down the line. And when that happens, I'll be there asking:

Bix a bel?
» ranor on 2007-01-15 12:23:42

I know.
» ranor on 2007-01-15 01:54:34

ahh!
did u delete all ur entries? are u turning over a new leaf? are u changing??
and whats the pass? :)
» ariel-can on 2007-01-15 02:10:16

I want to read! me! me!
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-15 03:35:11

Think of it this way:
You may think it's horrible for now, but it will pass. You may have passing thoughts of her.

Eventually, you'll find someone that makes you forget her. You'll sit back and wonder: who was that girl? Oh well.

Grab some ice cream, go yell a bit, sit, mope, and then pick yourself up, dust off, and head back out to kick ass and take names.
» ikimashokie on 2007-01-15 05:08:33

i have no desires to do such.. i've been through each kind of girl.. and i've known for years i wanted her. but i guess i have to force myself to act like i'm moving on..
i guess as the saying goes..
"The better man got the girl"
the most amazing, beautiful, loving girl.
» ThisCharmingMan on 2007-01-15 05:12:29

I really meant it when I said "time heals all wounds." Like ikimashokie said, it seems neverending now, but it isn't. Eventually she'll fade back into the background of your mind, as one more memory added to a patchwork of others that compromises your life experience. Sure, you may just be forcing yourself to act like you're moving on for now. But give it some time and you'll wake up one day to realize that you're not pretending anymore.
» ManOfDarkSunglasses on 2007-01-15 05:40:10

I had too much to say, so I wrote an entry about it.
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-16 10:22:36

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