Well.. someone, I'm not going to point any fingers, but someone has made it clear that they think it's in my genetic code to be a failure. They believe that the kind of person I am is the kind that lacks initiative and motivation. Apparently, my background, my life, my state of living has nothing at all to do with it. Nothing, it can't, this is all my personality traits and they can't be changed... If this is true, then I guess I could say it's impossible for someone that was a complete dick head to turn things around and become a nice, open, sensitive guy.

My life is in progress and I'm living day to day.
This set back of my priorities in life doesn't make me who I am.
As far as I know, all that I am right now is a loving person, a forgiving person, someone with a sense of humor and open minded.
That's who I am.
The other things are what I'm doing.
Personally, I don't think I'm that far behind. I'm young and vital.
I have a life to live and I'm jumping right in.
There's many things to be done and so much to do.
I've got one chance at all of this and if I make some mistakes along the way,
I know it's Okay... I know I'm only human, and to exist is to be imperfect, to make mistakes and learn from them and teach others by example.

But I definitely don't like that people think they know who I am or where I'm going just because I'm not as far along as other people. I believe I'm a decent person and I can accept that I won't be remembered after I'm gone. I'm living this life for me because it's mine. I looked around today while sitting in the car at a 7-11 and just kinda looked at all the other people and realized that they're all living out their own scenarios, imperfect and just. So similar and yet so different from mine. No one can say how to live your life because no one really knows.

Try, that's all I can do.


p.s..
if you have to work to love someone that you were previously with and already loved then that's called forcing it and it's bullshit and a waste of time.. love is from your heart, not your brain. lust is from your brain not your heart.
and dick headedness is a stubborn disease.

Definitely. No point in killing yourself trying to be something you're not, or can't possibly be.

I guess if you're stubborn like me, you can...
» ikimashokie on 2007-01-21 05:02:54

Little Miss Sunshine.
"A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try."
» ranor on 2007-01-21 05:30:45

Yeah. Highly recommend it. Really funny and has a great message without blatantly pounding it into you.
» ranor on 2007-01-21 07:06:13

my heart...
is full of love, just for you.

» GooseGirl on 2007-01-21 07:28:43

hey, so are you better now? What were you sick with, anyway? It is really ridiculous to say that people can't change, or that it's all decided in your genes or something. Mind over matter.
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-21 10:55:34

Welcome back!
And yep, Boondock Saints it was. Good ole' Il Duce.
» ManOfDarkSunglasses on 2007-01-21 11:18:13

hey man...i need to say something
i know we don't know each other...well...at all...I'm sure we have more in common then we realize...but hey...even if the only thing we have in common is that we both fell for the same girl...that's something right? i need to say something...and it's that i think you got me all wrong...i tried to throw in my last entry that i wasn't judging you because I don't even know you...but I guess that didn't come across all that well....the only reason I mentioned a lack of motivation/initiative is because I'm a heartbroken guy and I'm trying to work out the reasons in my head for what happened...picture how you felt just last week...well that's how I'm feeling now...I'm sure you said some things to christine that first night that you didn't really mean...well that's me...I never meant to insult you as a person...like I said before...it's your life...and you are free to live it as you choose...the only reason I even mentioned you was because I was trying to sort out why she came back to me at all....to be honest...I have no fucking clue about how other people feel anymore...all I know is how I feel..and what others tell me...but hey..even that isn't always true...I just don't see a point in making an enemy over a misunderstanding....I'm sure you are a great guy...after all...christine wants to be with you...so to me...that means there must be something great there....as hard as it may be for me to say this and truly mean it....for what it's worth...I really do hope you are both happy together....I hope you can give her everything I wish I could
» Rip-Tide-Prophecy on 2007-01-21 11:26:26

ok...
first off...i obviously didn't try to depict your personality....in fact...all i did was make an emotional comment and then try to apologize for it...but hey...i tried to be nice...if you don't want that...then so be it...the only thing I was trying to "change" about myself was how open I was...I'm not in any way a dickhead..but hey...you say what you want....apparently apologies and trying to make up for something you said when you were upset means nothing...I'm glad christine forgives you for all of the things you said about a week ago...*this is me washing my hands of trying to be nice*
» Rip-Tide-Prophecy on 2007-01-22 09:13:17

Well, from the looks of everything the fun just keeps going, eh?

All I can say is that I hope all this works for the best, for everyone.

And I think that's great, all that you said. I wish I felt like that. Unfortunately, I have issues and have a tendency to feel like I'm 80 years old and dying. So, good luck with all of this.
» elessar257 on 2007-01-22 11:15:30

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