She picked me up at midnight on that Saturday morning, better known as Friday night. It was basically as if she never left my side, or I hers. We drove & talked, drove & listened to Gym Class Heroes. We drove in complete silence, complete imperfection. That comforting feeling that radiates from her lets me know she loves whatever we're doing.
Maybe I'm lost in a dream? I'll sing to you just one more time.
It's definitely something told myself over & over, time & time again.
It's definitely worth the good time & even the bad.
Love, no matter how cliche` it seems, has always been one thing i could depend on,
even in the roughest times in life. I've had love from my mother, relatives, my friends. & now her. & I know no matter what happens, I'll always be stuck with her, even if it's completely mental or in solely in her heart. I've had my doubts, but she's worth it is all I kept repeating to myself.

Best friends is really a hard term to really define. It's even more difficult to place someone in that Category. I've come to really realize that it's really very simple. A best friend is someone you can rely on completely, someone that's always there, a person that no matter how much it affects them, their advice will only help to your advantage. I can say that I've found three of them, especially now a days when it's rare to come by considering how society is doing a complete 360. And one person I'll never lose faith in is her, she'll be here by my side whenever I need her. She's part of me, She's the greatest friend I've ever had. She's made her mistakes but has realized them and fixes them, & I help her and stand by her like a good friend would.


Moving on to a touchier subject that I may not really write much about because I get upset far too easily.
Two Thursdays ago my sister-in-law, my brother's wife, my friend, my sister, she fell deathly ill & left us quickly after. It's been hard on me & the rest of my family, especially my brother, of course. But I've really not been able to wrap my mind around it, I just can't believe that it's true. It's been a half a week & it's still slowly sinking in. People have asked to talk to me about it, mainly one lovely girl, but i couldn't answer. I had nothing to say because I can't. It's so hard, I just end up talking to myself about it sometimes because I think I'm the only one out of Stephanie & I that realized we had such the amazing relationship that we had. She wouldn't see this because she's like that with whoever she encounters, trying to be an impact on everyone's life, being the best friend she can be. She was a shoulder for me, She had advice, She talked to me about random things, things I didn't care about, she didn't care, she loved to talk. She took me into her house when I needed a place to stay so that I could keep my job. She shared her steak with me, which she did for no one. She kept my company on nights I stayed in. She even took care of my Nintendog, Maggie. She was a best friend & I'll miss her terribly. She lived her life to the fullest not knowing when she'd run out of time & I'm glad she took advantage of it. She had tons of love for us, & we'll always have it for her. I understand that saying now & I'm getting on it Stephanie Helen (she hated when we called her that).Thank you.


I'm completely confused, & upset, & happy, & content, but ready for change.
After that previous sentence, you'll see why I'm confused.


goodnight kid♥

i'm always here for you slim. hope you got some sleep after what seems like a long and emotional night. x3 x3 x3
» GooseGirl on 2007-07-31 08:26:59

I'm sorry. I don't know what you say... I hope it gets easier for you.
» alexsedotcx on 2007-07-31 04:02:29

Sounds mighty confusing. But, I think I've been in that spot before.
» sphincterbutt on 2007-07-31 08:42:40

My deepest sympathy.
It takes a while for it to really sink in when someone close to you has died. For a while it just seems like they've been gone for a few days, or someting like that. Then it slowly comes to you - you are not going to see them again. That's when the grieving really takes place.
I'm sure that previous stanza probably wasn't any help at all. I'm really bad at giving what I think might help (usually a dose of reality), and it doesn't help much. But I hope you see the earnestness in me trying to help. Now I feel odd for explaining myself. Anyhow.

I am happy for you in the fact of you+her. I can tell that she's great for you, and I wish you both the utmost happiness. =)
Enjoy!
» invisible on 2007-08-01 05:47:17

I never know what to say to things like that. I want to say Im sorry but I know you've heard it 1000 time before and coming from someone you dont know it probably doesnt mean as much. So instead of telling you how sorry I am I just want to tell you when you get through times like this you end up with such a greater apprecitation for life, friends and love and it will make you stronger. I hope your brother is doing ok. Good luck and best wishes :)
» lyndeep on 2007-09-07 05:08:56

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